Who's Influencing You?
There’s a moment in the story of King David that stops you cold. Not when he takes what isn’t his to take, not even when the weight of his actions brings a kingdom to its knees, but when the prophet Nathan looks him in the eye and says, “You are the man.”
It’s a moment that pierces through time and culture because we recognize ourselves in it. It’s raw, unsettling, and, above all, true. Nathan’s words didn’t just expose David’s sin; they revealed something much deeper: who was in David’s corner and whether those voices were willing to tell him the truth when it mattered most.
This story isn’t about ancient kings. It’s about us. It’s about the counsel we keep when the stakes are highest.
The Voices That Shape Us
We live in a world where loyalty often masquerades as silence. Friends nod along while we blame someone else for our own choices, family members justify what’s unjustifiable, and enablers frame destruction as “freedom.” But let’s be honest: who we listen to in our most vulnerable moments shapes the direction of our lives.
The real tragedy isn’t just making mistakes—it’s having no one willing to call us higher.
I’ve watched this play out firsthand in ways that have left me utterly baffled. I saw someone I once admired reached for the wrong hands in a time of profound vulnerability. Hands that offered convenience over conviction, selfishness over sacrifice. Those hands led him into a storm of chaos, confusion and ruin, promising freedom but delivering chains.
And yet, I’ve also seen the power of a single voice—steady, unshaken, and rooted in truth—to change the trajectory of a life.
A Tale of Two Counselors
Let me tell you a tale of two counselors.
One man, let’s call him the Enabler, cloaked his advice in the language of understanding. “You deserve to be happy,” he said, all while justifying betrayal and chaos. He may be someone you've known since childhood or even someone you so happen to spend most of your weekdays around. Nevertheless, this was a man drowning in his own dysfunction, driven by his own ego, tangled in infidelity and a string of other bad decisions, yet eager to offer counsel. His own house was burning down, but he handed out matches to anyone who’d take them.
The other man was different. Let’s call him Nathan. Nathan didn’t soften the truth to make it palatable. He spoke with the clarity of someone who had nothing to gain but your wholeness. He reminded you of what was at stake—not just your happiness, but the legacy you were building, the lives you were affecting, the God you were accountable to.
Nathan possessed rare qualities that set him apart:
- Courage to Confront: Nathan didn’t shrink back from speaking hard truths, even when it risked offending or alienating.
- Wisdom in Approach: Instead of attacking, he used grace and a well-crafted parable to lead David to his own moment of clarity.
- Loyalty to Higher Standards: His allegiance was to righteousness, not approval, ensuring his counsel aligned with God’s truth.
- Compassion for Redemption: Nathan’s goal wasn’t to humiliate David but to lead him to repentance and restoration.
Two voices. Two very different outcomes.
What a profound tragedy it is to live without ever encountering a Nathan, someone who could pull you out of the fog and back into the light.
The Quiet Undoing
Here’s the part that cuts the deepest: the undoing doesn’t happen all at once. It’s quiet. Subtle. You don’t wake up one morning and decide to lose your integrity, your family, or your faith. It’s a series of small compromises, each one nudged along by the wrong voices.
I’ve seen a good man—a man who once stood for so much—become a shadow of himself because of the counsel he kept. He surrounded himself with people who fed his ego instead of his soul, who celebrated his worst instincts instead of calling him to repentance. And when the weight of his choices began to crush him and left him all alone, those same persons were busy cuddling in bed with their wives and making their children giggle.
Because that’s the thing about enablers: they’re only loyal as long as your destruction doesn’t inconvenience them.
Who Is Your Nathan?
David had Nathan. Not because he deserved him, but because he needed him. Nathan wasn’t just a friend; he was a mirror, reflecting the truth even when it hurt.
Do you have a Nathan in your life?
This isn’t a question to answer lightly. It’s one that requires brutal honesty. Look around you. Are the people in your inner circle willing to challenge you, even if it costs them your approval? Do their values align with God’s truth, or do they echo the fleeting standards of this world?
And perhaps the harder question: are you willing to listen?
The Legacy of Influence
Here’s what I’ve come to realize: the counsel we keep doesn’t just shape our lives—it ripples outward. It impacts our children, our communities, and even generations we’ll never meet.
When the wrong voices are allowed to take root, they don’t just poison the person who listens. They poison everything that person touches.
But when the right voices speak, they plant seeds of redemption. They remind us of who we are and whose we are. They help us find our way back when we’ve gone astray.
A Wake-Up Call
This is not a feel-good story. It’s a wake-up call.
In challenging times, the quality of your friendships and relationships can make all the difference. It’s not enough to merely have family who are fun or friends that have a long history with you. A wise friend offers counsel that considers the broader impact on those you love, ensuring their guidance serves the greater good rather than just self-interest. They stand by you, speak life over you, extend tough love when necessary, and always hold you accountable.
If you’re clinging to the wrong hand, let go. If you’re surrounded by enablers, step away. If your life is in disarray, take a hard look at who’s speaking into it. The road back isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.
And if you’re someone’s Nathan—don’t stay silent. Your voice could be the one that saves a life, a marriage, a soul, a family.
There’s a verse in Proverbs that stays with me: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” Let the wounds of truth heal you before the kisses of deceit destroy you.
Because here’s the truth: the counsel you keep will either save you or undo you.
The choice is yours.
Comments
Post a Comment